Shopping Cart

The Fantasy Mixtape: iPod Edition


Fantasy Mixtape: iPod Edition
Image by Thomas Tipple 

After rummaging through the waiver wire this week and coming back empty-handed, I found myself rummaging through old drawers at my house. Then, just like picking Elijah Mitchell after the Week 6 bye, I struck gold. That’s right: I found my old iPod this weekend. And just like Julio Jones has been stashed on my bench these last 14 weeks, I managed to hold on to one of those old-school Apple chargers. 

Immediately, I plugged in the iPod to see if it would charge, and IT DID. I took a deep breath before starting up my miniature time capsule, and as it powered on, I quickly realized none of the buttons worked. 

A time capsule trapped. 

Unlucky. However, this epic discovery did send me down a path of reliving through some old music. 

Put on your eyeliner. 

Slide on your Vans. 

Grab your black fingernail polish. 

Here, I made this throwback for you: 

iPod Edition: TRACK 1

Crying Fantasy Football

Do you guys remember when music videos would drop on MTV? I do. I distinctly remember how the water sounded as it drained in Linkin Park’s “Crawling” video. As I reminisced listening to it, I couldn’t help but think about my fantasy football playoff hopes. I am watching them slowly circling the drain and disappearing. As I look at my win-loss records, “discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me.” It is hard to admit when you’ve failed. I can feel all my poor decisions “crawling in my skin.” 

Crawling - Linkin Park

iPod Edition: TRACK 2

I’m not entirely sure how to link this song to football, but it must be included if I’m true to my roots. They sing about the Chargers old home in “San Diego.” They also mention “Arizona,” where the Cardinals play. So I guess I did just find a way. HA!

I Woke Up In A Car - Something Corporate

iPod Edition: TRACK 3

Sometimes as the fantasy football season comes to a close, I like to reflect on my drafts. 

Where did I go wrong? Was it just bad luck? So many players’ seasons ended too soon while some breakouts never came. Others have come and gone too quickly. But sometimes, we have to recognize that one season is just a blip on the radar. 

You understand this sentiment if you are in a keeper league or dynasty league. The championship W is where “I long to be” and “I’ll wait for you there, like a stone.” So I’ll hold on and wait for guys like Terrace Marshall or Cam Akers. I don’t want to “sit in regret of all the things I’ve done.” Instead, I’ll look at the cup half full and wait patiently for these players to come back and take me to the Championship Trophy

Fantasy Mixtape: iPod Edition

Like A Stone - Audioslave

iPod Edition: TRACK 4

Well, “today’s the day it gets tired.” The burnout is here. 

Jerry Sucks

After weeks of setting lineups and reading start sit articles… After months of hearing Jerry blow up the chat with his terrible trade offers… I’ve finally hit a wall

It feels like all this energy was “wasting words on lowercases and capitals” when you miss the playoffs and have to watch from the sidelines. But there’s always next year. “Keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground.”

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows - Brand New

iPod Edition: TRACK 5

“When I wake up, I’m willing to take my chances on,” Mike Williams. Sure, he has had a few weeks where his score was less than ideal—more than less than ideal (> <). But who are we to judge? Most of us are “waking up with pants on at four in the afternoon” while he is on the field on Sundays. So I’ll keep taking my chances and starting Mike each week until he brings home the Title Belt.

Fantasy Mixtape: iPod Edition

When he hits, “it could be an accident, but I’m still trying” to make Mike Williams WR1 happen, and you can’t stop me.

Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy

iPod Edition: TRACK 6

This last song goes out to every Monday night miracle. “I sit here clutching useless lists and keys for doors that don’t exist.” I’m just waiting for a phenomenon. “Cause I’m due for a miracle. I’m waiting on a sign.” 

Maybe I need 30 points from Devin Singletary. So what? It could happen! It’s like I’m staring “straight into the sun, but I won’t close my eyes.”

Stare at the Sun - Thrice

Just for fun, here are a few more favorites from my emo era. I hope you enjoyed this half as much as I have.

-Cooterdoodle

Reinventing Your Exit - Underoath

Memory - Sugarcult

I Feel So - Box Car Racer

The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional

The Boys of Summer - The Ataris

Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace

The Best Of Me - The Starting Line

Get Free - The Vines

What It Is To Burn - Finch

Were you friends with Cooterdoodle in high school? If not, it's cool. You have a chance now by following Cooterdoodle on Twitter. Her constant interaction and tomfoolery will keep you reminiscing for years to come.


Older Post Newer Post


1 comment


  • still always a high point of each week for me. find a way to keep this going in the off season.

    Eric Belair on

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published