After rummaging through the waiver wire this week and coming back empty-handed, I found myself rummaging through old drawers at my house. Then, just like picking Elijah Mitchell after the Week 6 bye, I struck gold. That’s right: I found my old iPod this weekend. And just like Julio Jones has been stashed on my bench these last 14 weeks, I managed to hold on to one of those old-school Apple chargers.
Immediately, I plugged in the iPod to see if it would charge, and IT DID. I took a deep breath before starting up my miniature time capsule, and as it powered on, I quickly realized none of the buttons worked.
A time capsule trapped.
Unlucky. However, this epic discovery did send me down a path of reliving through some old music.
Put on your eyeliner.
Slide on your Vans.
Grab your black fingernail polish.
Here, I made this throwback for you:
iPod Edition: TRACK 1
Do you guys remember when music videos would drop on MTV? I do. I distinctly remember how the water sounded as it drained in Linkin Park’s “Crawling” video. As I reminisced listening to it, I couldn’t help but think about my fantasy football playoff hopes. I am watching them slowly circling the drain and disappearing. As I look at my win-loss records, “discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me.” It is hard to admit when you’ve failed. I can feel all my poor decisions “crawling in my skin.”
iPod Edition: TRACK 2
I’m not entirely sure how to link this song to football, but it must be included if I’m true to my roots. They sing about the Chargers old home in “San Diego.” They also mention “Arizona,” where the Cardinals play. So I guess I did just find a way. HA!
iPod Edition: TRACK 3
Sometimes as the fantasy football season comes to a close, I like to reflect on my drafts.
Where did I go wrong? Was it just bad luck? So many players’ seasons ended too soon while some breakouts never came. Others have come and gone too quickly. But sometimes, we have to recognize that one season is just a blip on the radar.
“playing time is earned.” pic.twitter.com/5SATzbZUWx— Jakob Sanderson (RTDB) (@FF_RTDB) December 4, 2020
You understand this sentiment if you are in a keeper league or dynasty league. The championship W is where “I long to be” and “I’ll wait for you there, like a stone.” So I’ll hold on and wait for guys like Terrace Marshall or Cam Akers. I don’t want to “sit in regret of all the things I’ve done.” Instead, I’ll look at the cup half full and wait patiently for these players to come back and take me to the Championship Trophy.
iPod Edition: TRACK 4
Well, “today’s the day it gets tired.” The burnout is here.
After weeks of setting lineups and reading start sit articles… After months of hearing Jerry blow up the chat with his terrible trade offers… I’ve finally hit a wall.
It feels like all this energy was “wasting words on lowercases and capitals” when you miss the playoffs and have to watch from the sidelines. But there’s always next year. “Keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground.”
iPod Edition: TRACK 5
“When I wake up, I’m willing to take my chances on,” Mike Williams. Sure, he has had a few weeks where his score was less than ideal—more than less than ideal (> <). But who are we to judge? Most of us are “waking up with pants on at four in the afternoon” while he is on the field on Sundays. So I’ll keep taking my chances and starting Mike each week until he brings home the Title Belt.
When he hits, “it could be an accident, but I’m still trying” to make Mike Williams WR1 happen, and you can’t stop me.
iPod Edition: TRACK 6
This last song goes out to every Monday night miracle. “I sit here clutching useless lists and keys for doors that don’t exist.” I’m just waiting for a phenomenon. “Cause I’m due for a miracle. I’m waiting on a sign.”
Maybe I need 30 points from Devin Singletary. So what? It could happen! It’s like I’m staring “straight into the sun, but I won’t close my eyes.”
Just for fun, here are a few more favorites from my emo era. I hope you enjoyed this half as much as I have.-Cooterdoodle
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