Which Player in Your Fantasy League Are You?: Euphoria Edition

Image By: Thomas Tipple

Fantasy football can leave you feeling a little euphoric. If you have somehow avoided the hit series on HBO Max, there is still time to binge and catch up before Sunday’s season 2 finale. To hold us over until then, let’s see what type of player you are in your fantasy football league, based on the EUPHORIA cast members. 

The Unreliable: RUE

You mean well. You really do. You just aren’t able to keep up with your lineups anymore. You forget to put in for any waivers and leave all trade offers pending in trade purgatory. You have WAY too much on your plate. Everyone understands for the most part, but sooner than later, you’ll run out of chances. 

If you don’t clean up your act and start caring about how your choices affect the entire league, you’ll get the boot, and it’s about time. You’ve only received Participation Ribbons for the past six seasons.

Just Like Your Fantasy League, Euphoria Needed Someone to Lay Down the Hard Truth: MADDY

Just Like Your Fantasy League, Euphoria Needed Someone to Lay Down the Hard Truth: MADDY

You can come off as abrasive and blunt, but you tell it like it is. Your league needs you. You have your sights set on winning, but you won’t do anything shady to get there. In fact, you care about the relationships you have fostered throughout the years. 

All of the drafts and Sundays of watching the games have been a comfort you don’t ever want to lose. Without you, the league would likely fall apart. 

Remember last year when Justin kept changing the draft date? Finally, you stepped in and called him out. You said what everyone else was afraid to say. Thanks for being the bad guy when we can’t. We know it’s just how you show that you care.

Theres always the the "Any-Type-You-Need" Person: CASSIE

Uh oh, an awful trade went down in your league. People are upset and taking sides. There is possible collusion involved, but you don’t even need to hear the details. You are going to support your closest friend, obvi

Friendship over football. 

Anytime there is drama between anyone, you will rally the rest of the league to calm down and, “Take it one day at a time.” You want everyone to be friends and stay together, even when someone is cheating. You are incredibly loyal to your league mates—until you decide to switch sides. 

Speaking of loyalty, you will ride out any league changes even if you don’t enjoy them. You will convince yourself that you love it because they love it. They want to switch to PPR? Great. They want to add IDP players? Wonderful. You’ll stay by your league’s side and morph into whatever they need you to be. You might end up with Matthew Berry’s Toilet Trophy, but as long as they are happy with you, it’s all that counts.

Be sure to check out this epic battle to decide the better dynasty running back!

Never Know What's Coming: FEZCO

It is entirely possible that after all these years, you still don’t know the league’s rules. You’re having fun and always there for your league mates, but your draft leaves us perplexed. Did you really mean to reach for that guy in the second round? Did you really mean to accept that trade?

Oddly enough, these erratic moves seem to pay off for you more often than they don’t. You are either a genius or one lucky son of a bitch. Either way, everyone enjoys having you around because you are drama free and bring a ton of beer to the draft. 

Would Euphoria or Your Fantasy League Exist Without the Adrenaline Junkie?: JULES

Would Euphoria or Your Fantasy League Exist Without the Adrenaline Junkie?: JULES

You are new to the league. Welcome! 

While everyone has private side jokes and stories from previous seasons, you are just trying to fit in and go unnoticed. SIKE! 

You absolutely love the attention and making a first impression. You immediately join in on all of the shit-talking and teasing. You have the craziest team name on the Draft Board. Sitting on the sidelines is boring, and you didn’t join a new league just to blend in. 

Adrenaline is the name of the game. Risks are enticing. You jump right in and start making wild trades and side bets as soon as the league is up and running. But your competition better beware. 

If all of the fun you initiate gets out of hand, you’re going to call everyone up and start an intervention. 

The Aggressor Your Fantasy League and Euphoria Would Like to do Without: NATE

The Agressor Your Fantasy League and Euphoria Would Like to do Without: NATE

Everyone in your league keeps beating you. Every. Single. Year. You even tried to take advantage of some less knowledgeable league mates in trades last year but to no avail. So now you are extremely pissed off. 

They think they can keep playing by the rules and one-up you, but you’re not going to let it slide. Not anymore. That’s right; it’s time to propose some rule changes. Can you believe the asshole who put in twice as many waivers as you? It’s their fault you didn’t win. “We need waiver limits!” 

Can you believe no one wants to trade with you—even though you heckled every offer that came your way, and you shamed everyone publicly in the group chat? You’ll show them. “I’m going to VETO everyone’s trades.” 

You won’t let anyone have fun unless you can. You deserve to win, and you will do whatever it takes.

The Planner Waiting to Execute: LEXI

It’s safe to say you are the most calculated of your entire league. You don’t engage in many side conversations, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t paying attention. You’re always watching to see which team is struggling so that you can swoop in with a trade. 

You plan your trades out weeks ahead of time to take advantage of trading away players that have bye weeks approaching. So while everyone is distracted with short-sighted goals, you see the bigger picture. You don’t make loud or shiny moves. In fact, your draft goes unnoticed. But you always quietly slide into the playoffs and make a run at the Championship Trophy.

Be sure to follow Cooterdoodle on Twitter and let her know what you thought about the finale!

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