As we look forward to the Fantasy Mixtape: Week 9, a lot has happened since our last one. There have been some NFL upsets (whodat), many player injuries, and some big moves made before the trade deadline. Let’s catch up. Here, I made this for you:
Mixtape 9 Track 1
This song goes out to a running back that was dominating the league years ago. You might have forgotten about him these last few years, but he’s back! Let’s welcome Adrian Peterson to the Tennessee Titans. After a devastating foot injury on Sunday, Derrick Henry is no longer the RB1 for the first place Titans. Did they sign a new, young running back? Nah. “Nobody likes you when you’re 23.” We want 36-year-old Peterson. Why? Because why not. Picking up Adrian Peterson off of the waivers has me asking myself: What year is it? “What’s my age again? What’s my age again…”
Mixtape 9 Track 2
This song goes out to all of the teams who are hurting to make trades before the NFL trade deadline on Wednesday. You should probably even check to see when your fantasy football league’s trade deadline is before you enter the playoffs. When you are making a run for the Championship Trophy, sometimes you need to make some big moves. Or maybe you should move into the rebuilding phase just like the Denver Broncos—it’s ok to wear the Toilet Seat if you get the first pick. So even though the lyrics are spelled wrong, make sure you let everyone know you have got some trades up for SAIL!
Mixtape 9 Track 3
This third track goes out to multiple NFL teams—specifically, the Miami Dolphins (1-7), Houston Texans (1-7), Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6), and the Detroit Lions (0-8). It was originally written about some guy who loved his horse, I think, but we aren’t fact-checkers here. What I do know is I used to sing Johnny Cash to my little kid every night when I was trying to get them to go sleep. “You are my sunshine,” guys… but now it is time to go night-night.
Have you seen your records? Take a little nap for the next few weeks. Don’t look. Close your eyes, and don’t worry about all the scary things to come like the Cardinals, Packers, or Rams. Shhh—it’s sleepy time now.
Mixtape 9 Track 4
This next track goes out to Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara. Last week the Texans traded Ingram to the New Orleans Saints. I should say he was reunited with the Saints because he is very familiar with this offense. If you are a Saints fan or just remember the post-game interviews of 2018, these two running backs would always get in front of the camera together. There are compilations all over YouTube of the silly duo. “The boys are back in town!” and together, they took down Tom Brady with third-string quarterback Trevor Siemian. WHODAT.
Mixtape 9 Track 5
This next track has been playing on repeat for months in my house and it should remain on repeat until all leagues come to a mutual understanding.
Let me explain: This song goes out to any and all of your league mates that love to click the little veto button when a trade is accepted.
We all know the rundown of events as soon as a trade gets accepted. The group chat starts buzzing as soon as the notification comes through. Judgments fly as everyone begins to rate the transaction. Someone always claims foul play is involved.
“It’s not fair,” they say. “This trade is so lopsided!” They might even cry about how this trade affects them personally as they face a tougher matchup. So let me ask you a question. Do you think any team in the NFC West wanted to see Von Miller go to the Rams? No. But he did, and you will not hear the Cardinals crying “VETO!” Neither should you.
As long as there is no collusion or cheating involved, a trade is a trade. The league mates involved were the only ones who needed to decide if it was fair. “Don’t save [them], they don’t want to be saved.” Both teams accepted the trade based on the personal value they gave to each player involved. Sure, it hurts to see someone trading Cooper Kupp for Rob Gronkowski, but you can save Jerry from himself. In the same breath, when someone traded Derrick Henry for Ja'Marr Chase in Week 3, it doesn't look too terrible now, does it? So I’ll say it one more time: “Don’t save them with a veto, they don’t wanna be saved.”
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